


Letters from the Army..

by Robronfan94



Category: Ballum, EastEnders
Genre: Army, Eventual Happy Ending, Letters, Love, M/M, Upset Ben, home coming, upset callum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21768601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robronfan94/pseuds/Robronfan94
Summary: Callum’s been called back to try army. He doesn’t want to go but has no choice. These are the letters he writes to Ben and letters Ben writes back
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	1. My Ben.

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ve been watching Our Girl and I notice that they get letters from home hence this story.
> 
> The first chapter will be from Ben’s point of view with Callum’s letter.

“Ben? You getting up?” “No! Go away!” Ben three his clock at the door and his mum got the message and left him alone.

He buried himself back under his covers holding the picture of Callum close to his heart and stroking his face.

Callum, his beautiful, caring Callum had been called back to the army. He remembered the look on Callum’s face when his old captain came to see him.

He remembers how he told Callum that one of the lads was injured and how Callum had to take his place on the up coming tour as he was the only experienced one.

Ben remembers how Callum fought with his captain saying that he couldn’t that he had Ben and Lexi to look after and he couldn’t leave them. 

Callum and his captain both argued before his captain said that instead of doing the whole year he could only do 6 months. Callum agreed. He knew that when the army called you you had to go.

Ben’s heart broke when Callum held him in his arms the night before he left he remembered how Callum whispered sweet nothings in his ears and told him he loved so much. How Callum joked and told Ben not to touch his biscuits until he came home.

The day Callum had to go Ben broke down in tears. The whole square came to wave Callum off telling him good luck.

Callum hugged Ben and told him he would be back soon Ben didn’t even try to stop the tears falling.

When Callum got into the car, Ben started banging on the windows and tried opening the door begging and screaming at Callum not to leave him.

When the car drove off Ben ran after it still banging on it begging the person driving it to stop.

He fought against Phil and Jay’s hold screaming Callum’s name over and over again. 

He gave up when his dad brought him to the ground and held him close telling him it was ok. Ben just screamed and screamed. 

The whole square was in tears after seeing Ben. Kathy came to console her son and Ben begged her to bring Callum back. 

She just held her baby in her arms while he cried and screamed his lovers name. She told him that Ben could stay with her until Callum came home.

Ben whispered how Callum may not come home like Paul and he would be alone.

Ben allowed his mum to run him a bath. Ben was so drained that Kathy washed him. She would gently massage the shampoo into his scalp before telling her son to close his eyes so she could wash it out.

She wrapped Ben up in a towel and helped him get changed into Callum’s clothes.

Kathy fed Ben when he wouldn’t eat his food and told him that he could sleep with her.

Ben didn’t say anything he went up to his room, locked the door and let the tears fall.

This was over a month ago now. And every time the phone rang Ben would be waiting for it to be the army telling him that Callum wasn’t coming home or that he had been.

He missed Callum so much. He put a brave face on for Lexi’s but he could tell that his daughter missed her daddy Callum.

Lexi would sleep in Ben’s bed every night trying to comfort him. Lola would go and press a kiss to her daughters cheek and tell Ben that she was there if he wanted to talk.

Ben would ignore her and hold his daughter close. Every night was a night closer to Callum coming home.

Ben didn’t eat or sleep most of the time. The square would hardly see him apart from that one time when his mum had said she needed milk.

Ben kicked up a fuss but Kathy was firm and said he needed fresh air. Ben went to get the milk shooting death glares at the people who were talking about him.

He didn’t go to work or see anyone. Phil would come and see him but Ben would stay in his room.

He only wanted Callum and until Callum came home he wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Ben?” Kathy knocked softly “Can I come in?” “What mum?” Ben whispered he didn’t even have the energy to shout at her.

Kathy opened the door and stepped inside. Ben’s room had clothes all over the place and un eaten meals. His room was pitch black.

Signing Kathy sat on the bed and ran her fingers through Ben’s hair.

God. Her baby boy. She wanted nothing more than to hold him tight but she knew Ben wouldn’t let her. He would only let Callum.

“Mum. What do you want?” Ben whispered. “Sorry love. Erm this came for you. It’s from Callum.”

Kathy handed Ben the letter and Ben looked at it before giving it back “This a joke? Did you write this? Go away mum?” “No it’s actually from Callum look?” Ben ignored her and pulled the covers over his face.

Kathy knew that Ben didn’t believe her. A few weeks ago Stuart had written Ben a letter from Callum.

It wasn’t intended to be malicious at all. He wanted to make Ben feel better. When Ben found out he was livid.

He screamed and shouted at Stuart he even punched him saying Stuart was sick and Callum left because of him.

“I’ll leave it here.” Kathy kissed her son before shutting the door and leaving.

Ben pulled the covers from his face and checked to see if his mum had actually gone and she had.

Picking up the letter Ben looked at the address it looked like Callum’s writing but was it actually?

He opened the letter and saw Callum’s picture. His Callum. He began to read:

“Hey baby. How you doing eh? God I miss you so much Ben! You have no idea the guilt I felt when you banged on that car door and begged me not to leave.

It took every bit of me not to open it and take you in my arms but I knew if I did then I wouldn’t want to leave and If I didn’t then I would have to spend longer in the army. Stuart told me what he did. I gave him a right lecture. Said he shouldn’t have done that. He also told me that no ones seen you in a while.

It was your dad that phoned up my captain and said he needed to speak to me urgently. He told me that you haven’t been eating at all!

Ben? Why haven’t you been eating eh? Look I want you in one piece when I come back home I don’t want you to end up in hospital ok?

I know you’re scared that somethings going to happen to me but it won’t. See where we are it’s been hit by an earthquake and me and the lads are rebuilding everything from scratch. So hopefully nothing will happen.

I want you to promise me something. I want me to promise that you’re gonna start eating. I’m not saying eat big meals I’m saying eat bit by bit. 

I want you to promise me that you aren’t gonna spend days in bed thinking about what’s gonna happen to me.

I want you to promise that you will talk to your mum the second you’re struggling. I want you to yell Lexi not to be sad and to be happy.

You Ben Mitchell are everything to me. You’re my life, my world, my reason to live, my strength, my heart beat and so much more! You are my Ben.

I have to go now. I love you so so much baby boy. I’ll write to you as soon as I can.

I’ll see you soon yeah.

Callum XX”

Ben held his boyfriends picture close and folded the letter putting it in the draw.

“I promise.” Ben whispered into the darkness...


	2. My Callum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the letter Ben wrote to Callum when he found out Callum was going back to the army. Pretty similar to the last one but from Callum’s point of view.

Callum dumped his kit in his tent before lying down on his bed. He couldn’t believe he was here again. He thought he was done with the Army.

He remembers that day very well. Ben and Callum had gone to the Vic for a drink when Callum heard the voice of his captain. Callum thought he’d never see him agin.

He listened at his captain told him that one of the lads had been injured and Callum had to take his place as he was the only other experienced soldier.

Callum fought with his captain saying no. He had Ben and Lexi and he wasn’t going to leave them. His captain and him had argued for half an hour.

Callum repeatedly saying he was not gonna leave his boyfriend or daughter for a year. His captain eventually came to a conclusion that if Callum went on this tour it would only be for six months and not a year.

Signing Callum agreed, being a soldier meant that when you were called you had to go no matter what.

He held Ben tight in his arms that night telling him how much he loved him and not to eat his biscuits.

The day Callum was leaving will always be etched in his heart.

The whole square came to wave him off. Telling him good luck and they would miss him.

He hugged Ben telling him that he would be back soon his heart breaking when Ben didn’t even stop crying.

He got in the car and put his seat belt on. The engine started and Callum could hear Ben banging on the door and windows.

Callum’s heart ached when Ben begged him not to go. Ben begged Callum not to leave him. He kept banging on the car.

“Mate? What do you want to do?” Callum wanted to get out of the car and hold Ben tight, but he knew that if he did then he would have to spend longer in the army.

“Just drive.” Callum whispered. His team mate put his foot on the gas and the car drove off Ben still hitting it.

Callum watched Ben run after the car. He watched Ben struggle against Phil and Jay’s hold.

He watched Ben repeatedly scream Callum’s name. He watched as Phil brought Ben to the ground holding his son tight.

Callum took one last look at his lover who was completely destroyed before he faded from view.

Callum had greeted all his team mates and was all set to get on the plane. His captain stopped him and said he wanted to speak to him.

He thanked Callum for doing this and he knew it wasn’t an easy thing for him to do.

Callum told him that he had to leave his heartbroken boyfriend behind and the sooner this tour was done with the better before walking away.

Callum got on the plane with his team mates. 8 hours later he was in Nepal, Kathmandu.

The country had been hit by an earthquake and it was the army’s job to help rebuild it.

A month had gone buy and Callum was getting something out of his rucksack when a piece of paper fell.

Confuse Callum picked it up. The letter was from Ben, his Ben, he must have wrote it when he found out Callum was going back.

Pulling the zip over the tent Callum sat down on his bed and began to read the letter:

“Callum. I never thought I’d be writing this letter in a million years but here I am. 

God I don’t know what to say. I never thought you would be going back to the army. My heart and brain still can’t comprehend it.

I’m scared Cal. I’m scared that one day I’m gonna get that phone call that you’re not coming home. I’m scared that I’m gonna be told that you’ve left me.

I know what you’re doing is a good thing and I respect you for that. I just wish you weren’t there.

This is going to sound horrible but if that idiot team mate of yours didn’t get injured then you would be here with me. Safe.

I don’t want you to leave me Callum. I want you here. U want you to wind me up but tell me you love me to. I want you to tell me how brave I am.

I don’t think I can be brave without you. I want you to know how much I love you Cal. You’re not just my boyfriend. You’re everything. You’re my reason to smile. My safety net. My security. My callum. I love you so much.

Ben XX”

Callum cried. God that letter must have been written the night Ben and him were told.

“You décent lad?” Callum heard his captain shout.

Putting Ben’s letter in the pocket next to his heart “Yeah”

Callum’s captain came in. “Phone call for you? Phil? Said it’s urgent.”

Callum took the phone and his captain went outside giving him space.

Callum’s heart broke all over again when he found out the state of Ben. How he wasn’t eating. He was always locked in his room and only wanted Callum.

How in the past month he only went out once. When Phil had finished Callum gave the phone to his captain.

“Sir?” “Yes lad?” “Can I have some paper please and pens? I’ve got a letter to write?” Callum’s captain smiled

“Right away lad.” He left the tent leaving Callum alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be Callum getting Ben’s letter to the first one Callum sent him. There’s not really a lot of dialogue just the letters.


	3. I’m trying to keep my promise..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum gets Ben’s reply to the first letter Callum wrote him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The characters in this chapter are from our girl  
> I’ll add it into the tags.

“Post!” Callum heard the shouting of one of his team mates. It was Saturday which meant post day.

Pretty much every Saturday the men and women would get post, it was also Callum’s day off.

His captain and the captain of the man of the Nepal army agreed that Callum’s team could take Saturday off as the team worked so hard.

Callum was so happy to hear that it meant he could phone Phil, ever since Callum sent Ben that letter he was anxiously waiting for a reply.

Callum would phone Phil and ask how Ben was but Phil was always say that it was Ben’s job to tell Callum how he was.

Callum could feel his blood boil whenever Phil said that, he was supposed to look after Ben.

”Halfway! Come on lad! It’s post day!” His team mate Brains said

”I’m coming mate.” Callum laughed throwing a shirt at him.

Callum zipped up his tent and went off to sit with the rest of his team mates.

”Heavy one this Monk. Something you wanna tell us lad?” “Of course not sir! It’s from my lass!” Callum laughed at how his team mate and captain Charles James were winding each other up.

Callum watched as his captain gave his team mates all their letters and gifts.   
  


“Halfway.” His boss called him. “Is that for me sir?” Callum said walking up to him pointing to the present.

”No but the letter on top is.” His boss said.

Callum took the letter and recognised the writing straight away. It was from Ben, his Ben and Lexi if the state of the enveloppe was anything to go buy.

Callum held the letter before whispering “Sir?” All his mates had gone off and Callum was left with Charles.

”Go on lad. Take as long as you need I’ll tell the others not to disturb you.” Charles said he knew the second Callum got the letter that he wanted to read it.

Callum nodded and went off to his tent zipping it up behind him when he got in.

He sat on the bed and opened the envelope smiling when a ribbon fell out.

The ribbon was something he had give to Lexi before he had left for tour. He told her that it would keep her safe until Callum retuned home. 

Lexi had clearly decided Callum needed it more than her.

Tying the ribbon to his wrist and leaning back, Callum opened the letter.

_”Callum. Hey. How are you? God I don’t know what to say. I wrote this letter a hundred times but each time I wrote it I ripped it up thinking that it didn’t sound right or that something was missing. I’m sure that it’s still the same now!_

_I miss you so much Cal. The day you left I was literally like a baby. After I had calmed down and had a shower. Well mum showered me cause I could hardly move. I lay in our bed. I’m so glad that I persuaded you not to change the bedding. It gave me so much comfort that the sheets smelt like you._

_I made up with Stuart for you. We both agreed that we were in the wrong him for writing the letter and me for what I did. He told me that he hadn’t meant to hurt me._

_Lex misses you so much to. The school know that you left. Speaking of which they did a show where the kids had to talk about someone they admired and Lexi picked you!_

_She told all the parents about how you were saving the world from bad people and how even though you had gone she knew that you were doing something good._

_She listens to that Hannah Montana song Been here all along? Apparently it’s a tribute to the troops. Lexi gets the message from it. I took me a bit longer._

_She made me promise her that I wasn’t going to write to you until she came back from school as she wanted to write something to._

_“Hi daddy Callum! It’s Lexi! How are you? I wrote something about bad people but daddy crossed it out. I told my school about you and I’m so popular everyone wants to be my friend. Lucy said that her daddy was in the army to and that she misses him. I told her that her daddy was doing a good thing. She asked me to ask you if you knew her daddy? She said he was called Michael but the army called him Kingy? I don’t know. I miss you so much. I need to go now daddy’s legs shaking and mums calling me. Come home quick. I love you.”_

_”Soz about that babe. The crossing out was about weather or not you hurt bad people. I shouted at her when she wrote that but she wasn’t happy. I said you can’t say that._

_Speaking of promises I’m trying to keep mine. I have been eating. I only eat breakfast with Lexi cereal. Toast and jam at a push but that’s it. I’m still in our room. I haven’t been to work but the other day I managed to go to mums cafe to get her something._  
  


_I hope you’re proud of me. I know it’s not a lot but I am trying. I still have days where I can’t cope and I want the ground to swallow me up but then I’ll see something a picture or watch a tv show that reminds me of you and I know I have to keep fighting until I see you._

_I hope this tour isn’t to long. There’s only 5 months left! That’s 152 days and something to do with 084? Don’t ask me I googled it._

_I have to go now. I told mum that I’d watch a show with her._

_Stay safe yeah please Callum? I love you so much! Please write to me._

_Your baby boy Ben XX”_

Callum wiped the tears that fell from his eyes before putting his letter in his draw.

God he missed his family.

”Callum?” “Yeh?” “Meeting. Come on lad.” “Coming.”

Callum put the pen and paper away before joining his team

Ben’s letter would have to wait 


	4. I’m so proud of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Lexi get Callum’s letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve made it a mission that by the new year I want this story and I Appreciate You to be complete. Fingers crossed  
> I’ll try to update daily X

Ben was sat on the sofa with Lexi watching Frozen, his daughter singing along but Ben could tell she wasn’t paying attention.

Her voice didn’t carry that spark that it normally did and Ben knew she was missing daddy Callum.

Ever since the school had found out they had offered support to Ben and Lexi but Ben didn’t want it. 

He didn’t need the pity looks at all.

”Ben baby letter for you.” Kathy came in and gave him an envelope full of letters.

”It’s from Daddy ! Look dad it’s from daddy!” Lexi shouted grabbing the letter and jumping up and down.

”Lex! Let’s go upstairs and read them.” Ben led his daughter upstairs.

Once upstairs he locked the door not wanting anyone to come in while he was reading the letters.

Ben opened the envelope slowly running his fingers over the writing.

”Dad!” Lexi huffed impatiently.

Ben took the first letter out. It was for Lex:

” _My darling Lexi,_

_Hey baby girl how you doing? I miss you so much. I keep the ribbon you give me safe. Before I go to work I always make sure it’s tied on tight so it doesn’t fall off._

_You can tell Lexi that I do know her dad! In fact I work with him. He’s our second in command so he’s like a boss but not a boss. Her dad said he’s sorry that he hasn’t wrote but he will write soon._

_I hope you’re looking after your dad for me. He’s scared and until I come home I need you to be a big girl and look after your daddy. Make sure you give him lots of hugs and kisses and tell him how much you love him._

_Ill be home soon. I love that Hannah Montana song! It’s my favourite. Be good at school. I’ll write to you soon. I love you so much._

_Daddy XX”_

”I have to tell Lucy!” Lexi squealed. She got off the bee before remembering Callum’s words.

She wrapped her arms around Ben before kissing him on the cheeks. “I love you dad.” “Love to baby girl”

Ben wanted for Lexi to shut the door before reading his own letter.

” _My beautiful Ben._

_I’ll start by saying that the letter you sent was perfect! I read it every night and every morning._

_I’m so glad you’re with your mum and not alone and that you kept the sheets! I get updates off everyone don’t worry there all good!_

_I’m glad you made up with Stuart. I know it doesn’t seem like it but his heart was in the right place even if he did go about it the wrong way.  
_

_Im so glad that you’re keeping your promise. Remember you can do this. Work and that doesn’t matter you go when you’re ready._

_I laughed so hard at that 5 months, that’s 152 days and the 82 even I don’t know what that means!  
_

_i see things here that remind me of you. I’ll see a lad getting lippy and it reminds me of you or a father with his daughter and I think of you._

_Im so proud of you Ben! So proud never forget that._

_I have to go now. I’ll write soon.  
_

_Callum XX”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the love and support X  
> Comments and kudos always appreciated X


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